B.O.B - “Based on Believe”.

I’m just attempting to translate my feelings and experience into words.

Believe is the ability to accept that something is true with or without proof. It is the act of having faith in ones self and the capabilities of ones abilities. One of the major reasons I am where I am and who I am today is believe. I Believe in myself and my abilities, I believe in what my future holds and more importantly than anything, I believe in the future and plans that God has ordained for my life.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

There are days when it feels like nothing is working out, days where all I can think about is all the things that have gone wrong in my journey, lost in my thoughts for hours and sometimes crying over spilled milk. In those moments where I can not physically hold on to anything tangible or even think of an accomplishment that i deem worthy enough to bring me happiness, the only thing I am able to hold on to and I can guarantee will bring me positive energy is knowing that theres light at the end of the tunnel.

Last month was really tough, I didn’t photograph, I didn’t feel like going out, I didn’t write…I just couldn’t function properly. An opportunity that seemed fruitful and could have brought about a break through came along and then the opportunity seemed to just disappear into thin air.  I’m currently still processing it and part of me wants to believe that it’ll resurface but I wont hold my breath on that. What I will do though is rejoice and give thanks for Life because I believe in the promises of God.

If you’ve been struggling, feeling like everything is going to shit, doubters all around you disrupting your peace, I’d like to leave you with this from one of my fav artists (Blackmagic) 

“The prophecy is about to come through, just believe and keep cool”

  -ayosama

Black History month..hmmmm. Much like most of the things that concerns the African-American community and the black diaspora at large, I never knew that such a thing existed until I moved to the USA in 2012.  Fast forward few years later, at which point I had become slightly aware and little bit knowledgeable on some of the things that mattered to the African-American community through some college classes and minor interactions. The big question here though was how much did I care personally? the answer is little to nothing.

It didn’t concern me… I’m Nigerian, I’m African and my dad told me that the “Akatas”(Akata; a derogatory word used by Nigerians to describe African-Americans) describe  were not to be associated with, even though he was married to and has kids with one.

More time went by and I continued to learn, I became interested but only for the sake of having the knowledge. There was a disconnect and a lack of personal interest. Then came photography, I am so happy I discovered this beautiful art form. Photography has given me so much that I am grateful for and one of them is that it became my gateway to having a personal connection to Black History. There have been various discussions on the significance/insignificance of Black history month and both side have some validity. I personally think its very important to have that particular period of time where we get to heighten our voices as black people, we get to be a little more of everything……expressive, joyous, louder, prouder in all things concerning black people. It’s a month to remember, respect, pay homage and learn about our ancestors who paved the way and contributed to where we stand as a people in society today. While the past is very important , our present and all the possibilities of our  future is really what excites and connects me to this month.

Honestly this one has been underwhelming, I have not felt the Black history month spirit. At first I thought maybe cause I’m in the UK and they observe it in October but no, its because there are other things currently going on around us that the world deems more important. What I know for sure though is that in the heart of those who care, it was celebrated. Thats all that matters. 

I told myself I would visit some museum/gallery exhibits that were centered around Black art and while I did not completely fulfill this, I did visit some and boy were they beautiful. S/O to Alero Helena(@aleroart_ on IG) for curating a list. Here are the ones I visited;  

 “The Prelude” by kehinde WIley at the National Galllery.

“Between Me and You” by Photographer Bernice Mulenga (@Burneece on IG) at HOME by Ronan Mckenzie.

“so terribly far to go” & “BLK MOVEMENT” by artist Josh Woolford (@jshwlfrd on IG) at HOME by Ronan Mckenzie.

As a photographer I am obligated to myself and my audience is to tell a story, convey a message, share an emotion through my images and my hope is that just like those who came before me, during my time here I can contribute my own 2cents to the history and  future of my people.

                                                     -ayosama

Oh Valentine, the supposed official day for lovers to celebrate each other. Rubbish!!!!!(lol jk), It should be a public holiday honestly.

It’s been four years since I last celebrated valentine with a partner(God have you forgotten your boy?), laughing but very serious. I think been able to love someone(people) in a romantic capacity is such a beautiful feeling that every individual should experience in their lifetime. Love is a strange, beautiful feeling that can’t always be put into words but you can try your best to express it in so many ways. 

Love is a beautiful thing, I Love love.

fxck Love

Opening yourself up to be loved or allowing yourself love in a romantic capacity can be very difficult especially after experiencing heart break. It requires a lot conscious effort to re-train your heart and mind to Love again and the crazy part is theres no guarantee you won’t get hurt again. 

“People go through life not knowing, not knowing what Love is, People go through life not showing, not showing what love is”.  I feel bad for whoever those people are. Everybody should have the freedom to experience love regardless of the societal groups and class they fall into.  Some beautiful couples allowed me to document a shared moment and honestly my heart was so full of joy that they let me into their personal space.

There are no universal rules when it comes to Love, the only rules that matter exist between the people involved in that relationship.Even though we are allowed to have personal preferences, Love should be able to exist outside our many superficial parameters. Love is an is an uncontrollable emotion but it is also a conscious choice. 

Love with all your heart because why do it at all if its not 100%. Love without fear. Enjoy the moments and document time spent with your loved one(s). Love grows and evolves with time so be open to learning new things about how to express it. 

I’m an hopeless romantic, I wear my heart on my sleeve . I love getting butterflies and feeling warm at the sight/thought of someone. I love finding out the little things that makes someone happy and trying my best to do it for them. I’ve grown and learnt so much since I was last in love, my perspective on love has evolved but this doesn’t mean that I know all there is to know about this complicated emotion. I’m forever a student of this beautiful game.

That been said, I’m ready to share my heart and space with someones daughter again. I’d love to be one of the people celebrating valentines with a partner next year. xoxo

Ps: If you’re reading this and you did not get your partner a gift for this one day because oh “everyday is supposed to be valentine”, close this and go buy something. 

-ayosama